


these secrets hurt like hell

by niallerblush



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Fluff, Gen, Internal Monologue, M/M, Requited Love, a very worrying liam, helpful!harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-15
Updated: 2013-03-15
Packaged: 2017-12-05 09:16:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niallerblush/pseuds/niallerblush
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I think I have a crush on Zayn,” Liam says quietly, staring down at his hands. Harry snorts loudly, causing Liam to look up incredulously.<br/>Or the one where Liam loves Zayn, Zayn loves Liam, and everyone knows except them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	these secrets hurt like hell

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, so it's just a short fic filled of Liam being stupid and blind, and Harry being weirdly helpful...any advice would be lovely :) you can follow me on tumblr here: http://niallerblush.tumblr.com/

“I think I have a crush on Zayn,” Liam says quietly, staring down at his hands. Harry snorts loudly, causing Liam to look up incredulously, _ohgodhesjudgingmeisnthethiswasastupidideawhydiditellhim_

“What was that for!” Liam says, Harry still laughing loudly.

“I already knew Liam. I mean, it’s Zayn we’re talking about here,” Harry shakes his head, grinning. “About time you told me, I was worried Lou was going to have to lock you two in a cupboard to get rid of all the sexual frustration.”

Liam stares at Harry, struggling to keep his mouth closed in shock.

“How…how did you know before I did, that doesn’t even make sense Harry, I only figured out today, I mean-” Harry sighs, putting his hand on Liam’s shoulder.

“Li, I think the constant pining and the love sick puppy eyes gave it away a little bit. I mean, you can’t even go a few hours without at least texting him!” Liam looks back at his hands, embarrassed.

“I think I did know, that I like him I mean. I just didn’t want…want to admit it to anyone. Like management hardly even let you and Niall sit next to each other in interviews much anymore and-” Harry grips harder onto Liam, in sympathy, _fuckmanagementliamloveismoreimportantthananything_

“And Zayn really loves Perrie, I know that, and I would never do anything to hurt either of them, she’s a beautiful girl, why wouldn’t he love her?” Liam puts his head in his hands, trembling slightly.

“I think I need to quit the band Harry, I can’t be around him, I can’t.” Harry shakes his head again, leaning forward to give his bandmate a hug.

“Liam don’t worry about management, we can deal with them later. But I think you should really talk to Zayn about this, I really do,” Liam flinches, protesting to the idea.

“Liam look at me,” Liam slowly lifts his head up, his eyes shining with sorrow, _nohedoesntlovemethewayiwanthimto_

“Talk to Zayn. Trust me, okay? Don’t worry about management or Perrie, and don’t you even dare think you can quit this band. Louis and Ni would kill you, okay? Just go find Zayn,” Harry says firmly. Liam nods gently, wipes his eyes on the back of his hands and stands up.

“Thank…thank you Harry, really. I appreciate the help,” Harry nods in return, _anythingliamtalktomeaboutanythingimalwayshereforyou_

“I know you do, now go get Dj Malik and sweep him off his feet, you hear me? Liam laughs shakily and quickly exits the room, closing the door behind him.

The door behind Harry opens slowly, a blond head sticking out, looking in both directions to see if the coast is clear.

“You can come out Ni, it’s clear,” Harry says chuckling. Niall laughs with him, shuffling over to his boyfriend, in just a pair of sweatpants, and puts his arms around Harry’s waist, nuzzling into his neck, _harryiloveyou_

“Told you so,” Niall whispers into the brunette’s throat, lips pressed to his earlobe. Goosebumps raise all over Harry’s body, as he turns around to embrace Niall properly, _iloveyoutoo_

“I’m guessing you want that 5 quid than,” he murmurs softly, pressing his lips to the shorter boy’s forehead.

“A blowjob would do just fine,” Niall says, looking up innocently into bright emerald eyes. Harry lets out a bark of laughter, raising his eyebrows.

“Cheeky," Harry says, tightening his grip around Niall, snuggling into his shoulder and neck. 

"Is that a no then?" Niall asks, sucking lightly on Harry’s neck, instigating a moan from the brunette.

“No, it’s not,” Harry says, his eyes darkening as he pulls away. “But I have to make sure Liam and Zayn are alright first. Maybe after the big reveal?” Niall shakes his head, pouting.

“I won’t take long to come though, I promise,” Harry lets out a bark of laughter, throwing his head back.

“Very romantic,” Harry says, pulling a grinning Niall towards the bedroom door. Niall shrugs, winking at his boyfriend, _ohwowimsoluckytohaveyou_

“At least I’ve never accidentally bitten you on the dick,” Niall says, sniggering. Harry’s eyes widen, and he leans forward to slap Niall, who quickly dodges out of his reach into their bedroom.

“That was one time, I said I was sorry!” Harry protests, following the laughing blonde, before closing the door behind him.

*

Liam raises his hand to knock on his friend’s door, hesitating. The fear of losing Zayn completely, was stronger than his longing for Zayn to return his feelings. Maybe this was just a crush, which he would get over in a few days. What if this was to ruin their friendship? What if Harry was wrong, and Liam did have to quit the band?. Liam wasn’t totally sure if this was worth all of the consequences, if losing all five of the boys was worth telling Zayn why exactly he’d been avoiding him all week.

 _No, Zayn deserves to know_ , Liam thinks. _He deserves all the options. Zayn can decide what happens, once I tell him, it’s out of my hands_. And before he can back out, Liam knocks on the door.

“Yeah it’s open, “ Zayn’s voice fills Liam’s ears, making him smile slightly, his stomach clenching with admiration, _beminelovemebackyoudontunderstandhowmuchyoumeantome_

Liam opens the door, deliberately taking his time to close it and shrug off his jacket. Swallowing thickly, he turns around to see Zayn sitting on his couch, sketching, with the TV playing softly in the background. Zayn looks up, his face lighting up when he sees Liam, _whatdoesthatmeanwhyareyousohappyitsjustmeitsjustliam_

“Hey I haven’t seen you in ages! Thought you were avoiding me mate,” Zayn smiles, watching Liam shuffle awkwardly into the living room, his smile dropping when Liam chooses the seat furthest away from Zayn.

“Oh well yes, um I have been…avoiding you I mean,” Liam stutters, fidgeting slightly in the chair. Zayn frowns, getting up to sit on the coffee table separating him from Liam.

“Oh god,” Liam mumbles, twisting his hands together, avoiding looking at Zayn, in fear that he might just break down and cry on the floor.

“Hey, Li it’s just me, you can talk to me,” Zayn says reaching over to touch Liam’s arm, who flinches _nononothisisgoingsobadlyheprobablythinksthatihatehim_

“I know I can, just not…not about this, no you’ll hate me, I can’t,” Liam says, stumbling over his words. Zayn shakes his head, exasperated.

“Liam, I could never hate you, ever. What’s this about, what’s got you so upset?” Zayn asks gently, trying to reassure his friend.

“I…like someone, a lot and I just…I don’t know what to do, I can’t tell them, Zayn, I can’t,” Liam says, his voice cracking. Zayn sits back, surprised at the confession.  

“Do I know them?” Zayn asks carefully. “Yes,” Liam whispers back.

“Okay…well I’m guessing you aren’t going to tell me who it is so…is this person dating someone else? Is that the problem?” Liam nods, slightly.

“Yes but he’s a really close friend of mine, and I don’t want to ruin our friendship and oh god, I..” Liam breaks off, mid-sentence, not trusting himself to go on, without giving away the whole truth.

“He?” Zayn raises his eyebrows. _shitohgodididntmeantosaythatohgodnowhehatesme_

Zayn leans forward, placing his hand on Liam’s arm, this time ignoring his protests.

“Li…you know that’s not an issue with me, I don’t care about that sort of stuff. I’m just surprised, I thought you were straight?” Zayn says not unkindly, rubbing Liam’s arm gently, causing goosebumps to protrude from Liam’s skin, and for the hairs on the back of his head to rise.

“I know, so did I…I guess I just realised that I care him more than I’ve ever cared about anyone else,” Liam sighs, finally looking up, to see concern written all over Zayn’s face.

“I definitely know how that feels,” Zayn admits, a soft smile playing on his lips, _ohgodhesissoprettyijustwanttokisshimeverymorningandeverynightandeveryday_

“Right, Perrie…how’s that going?” Liam’s stomach drops at the thought of the purple haired girl, (whom he has nothing against, because it’s Liam and Liam doesn’t hate anyone) who gets to kiss Zayn, and hold his hand in public, and cuddle him late at night, and gets to know his body in a way that Liam aches to with all his being.

“No…not Perrie…Liam, you don’t think her and I are actually dating do you?” Zayn says slowly, searching Liam’s face for a reaction.

“Wait…what? You aren’t?” Liam quickly sits up, confused. Zayn laughs softly, raising an eyebrow.

“No…Liam I thought the boys told you it’s just for publicity…obviously not then,” Zayn edged closer to the other boy, wanting to know more.

“Don’t change the subject though, tell me about this guy, what’s he like?” Zayn asks, sounding genuinely interested, _caringbeautifultalentedfunnyintelligenteverythingimnot_

“He’s different…to what people think…he’s not what you expect him to be, and I think that’s why…why I like him, cause he’s kind and caring and really smart, but he only shows that side of him, once you get to know him,” Liam finishes off, smiling slightly.

“Sounds like you really like him then,” Zayn says, and something in his voice makes Liam doubletake.

“Are _you_ alright Zayn?” Liam asks, alarmed at the sudden change in Zayn’s sudden change in demeanour.

“Yeah mate I’m alright, just a bit taken aback I guess,” Zayn rubs his eyes, and Liam is stunned at how tired his friend actually looks, and a shot of anger at himself flashes through him, for not noticing it earlier.

“Because I’m not straight? I can leave if you like…if I make you feel uncomfortable or something, I can go...”Liam gets ready to stand up and leave, so he can go cry himself to sleep and then possibly go yell at Harry for making him do this, but Zayn forces him back down onto the seat.

“No not because of that Liam, I just said I didn’t have a problem with it, didn’t I?” Zayn says tiredly, sitting back down opposite Liam. Liam looks at Zayn, noticing the slight bags under his eyes _shitfucksomethingswrongandihaventnoticedbecauseivehadmyheadstucksofarupmyarse_  
   
“Zayn are you sure you’re alright? You look…tired,” Liam asks again, worrying about his best friend. Zayn blinks slowly at Liam, shaking his head slightly, after a small pause.

“No…no I’m not Li,” Zayn mutters, roles reversing as he looks down into his hands, unable to look Liam in the eyes. Liam’s eyes widen in panic.

“Zayn…what, why?” Liam manages to croak out, staring at the fidgeting figure in front of him.

“You like a guy, who I know…who happens to be in a relationship, which means that it’s not fucking me, and I don’t know what to do about that Liam, what do I do about that?” Zayn remarks, looking at him sharply. Liam suddenly feels a bubble of panic rising up into his chest.

“What…Zayn, I don’t- wait. Do…do you want it to be you?” Liam replies, looking very bewildered. Zayn laughs without humour, _ishesayingwhatithinkheisdontbestupidliamdontmessthisup_

“Do I want it to be me? Fucking hell Li, I knew you were oblivious sometimes, but I didn’t think you were totally stupid,” Zayn snaps. Liam gulps, his heart leaping into his throat.

“Liam I have been so fucking in love with you since The X Factor, and you’ve been so blind to never realise it because you’re always in love with someone who’s not me and-“ Zayn is cut off by Liam, who finally, _finally,_ gets it. He surges forward at Zayn, who is caught off guard, by soft lips pressing hard against his own, the rest of his sentence left hanging. Realising what is happening, Zayn relaxes into the embrace, kissing back, revelling in the feeling of kissing the boy that means everything to him. Liam pulls back after a beat, biting his bottom lip, looking at Zayn through his eyelashes.

“Um...well I don’t know if that’s, what you wanted but…I love you too and I’m really sorry, about not realising earlier Zayn, I really am, I didn’t mean to keep you waiting for so long and-“ It was Zayn’s turn to interrupt, by kissing Liam quickly, before leaning back, with a soft smiling playing at his lips.  
  
“I would’ve waited forever Li,” Zayn murmurs, before leaning in to kiss Liam again, and…well. Liam will tease him about that line later, because he’s busy being in love.

 

**Author's Note:**

> the title comes from "Save My Heart" by Jason Reeves, a wonderful song, which I thought really fit with the plot :)


End file.
